Yesterday was not a good day!

Well I’m glad yesterday is over what a horrible day. What happened Woody? I hear you asking. Well actually nothing happened yet it didn’t feel like that.

When I say it was a horrible day, you have to put it into some kind of context, I wasn’t Ill, I wasn’t injured, in fact I was as healthy as can be. Nothing had happened to me. There are of course many people that had a far worse day. Most of my problems were nothing to do with the outside they were all coming from the inside.

Sometimes we just have a bad day , no reason, just it is what it is. Sometimes we wake up in the morning and just feel like we’ve got out of the wrong side of the bed.

Sometimes I feel a bit of a fraud, I mean me the one who writes a blog about calming an anxious mind and yet can’t keep his own mind quiet, what a joke.

So why did I have a bad day yesterday and why is today a good one ?

Sometimes it’s just best not to question these things and just put it down to nothing in particular. Yesterday I just had a bad feeling all day, I felt not at ease it’s hard to really put your finger on it, but what I did notice was how much negative thinking was taking place , all of it made up and catastrophised as negative thinking often is.

Perhaps I had some bad thoughts in my dreams, perhaps that gave me the feelings I was having. Everythought comes attached with its own feeling, my belief is there are 3 main types of feeling attached to our thoughts. Positive negative and neutral. Neutral feelings come with most thoughts , probably most of our subconscious thinking contains neutral feelings neither good or bad. Positive feelings come from positive thoughts and positive thoughts come from what we are experiencing. Negative feelings are the same they come attached with negative thoughts.

Thoughts experiences and feelings seem to be all connected to each other.

Yesterday my thoughts and feelings were negative and therefore my experience of that day was also negative, today is different my thoughts and feelings have both been positive and therefore I’ve had a much more positive day.

My conclusion is that sometimes you feel good or bad for no reason , if it’s a bad day don’t try to follow it, don’t try to do anything with your thoughts just accept that the thoughts will change and along with that the feelings and the experience.

Most of the time we need to distract ourselves when we are in a low mood feeling, do something to take our mind away to a different place. Read a book or watch a movie or do a task that focuses your mind on something else and the mood and thoughts will change.

We are all human we can’t always feel good just like we can’t always feel bad. All we are ever doing is just experiencing our thinking.

Hope you are having a good day

Woody

Why forgiveness can be the key to a calmer mind.

Hi, this blog is, as the title suggests, some thoughts of mine about forgiveness and how it helps to calm an anxious mind. It’s also possibly one of the most difficult things a person can do, but the benefits are huge.

Many of us spend years in the stress of hatred revenge and grudge, it stops us from enjoyment and calm. Sometimes it can be over something really small and yet our brain has over time blown it out of proportion and catastrophised it to such an extent that’s it’s no longer possible to tell if it’s real or not, others have had terrible things that have happened to them years ago and yet continue to live the experience as if it was yesterday, unable to focus on today or move on to tomorrow. I once spoke to a middle aged guy who was still being bullied in his head by school colleagues despite having left school nearly 20 years ago and yet he was still playing the scenes out in his mind on an invisible projector screen every day since, having a massive affect on his lifestyle and relationships. Every day he woke up the projector of his mind played the scenes on a never ending loop.

Forgiving someone who has intentionally or even sometimes unintentionally harmed you either physically or psychologically can be an extremely difficult thing to do, but what is the alternative, living a life weighted down by the burden of the thing that happened to you.

When someone has done something to wrong us we carry it around with us like a weighted sack on our shoulders and with time this sack gets heavier and heavier and makes it harder and harder to continue our journey through life.

Why should I forgive?

So the first question many ask is why should I forgive? Well you have to ask yourself a few questions to find the answer.

Is this having a positive effect on my life?

Is this making my life easier?

Can I move on and forget the past?

Is this improving my health both physically and mentally?

Most likely your answers will be no to all four questions. So in that case is there any point in continuing harbouring the grudge if you know it’s not going to get better.

How can I forgive?

By staying as you are things will be difficult to change, the mistaken belief is that if I forgive someone I am therefore complicit in condoning them for their actions against me.

The thing is you are not forgiving them for their sake you are giving yourself permission to let that person go so that you are no longer held by that tie and the bond that holds you to them.

Once you forgive, you can then let go and start to forget. You can never forget whilst still having that anchor holding you firm.

Harbouring thoughts of revenge or hatred just ties you to the past. The past is over, time to move on to a new future, drop the burden and walk free.

Woody

Comparison the thief of joy.

When I first heard this, I thought little of it, just another quote from a long list of quotes from various people through the ages.

But today something shouted out to me, it said pay attention Woody, and I did, and now I get it. It’s taken me the best part of 50 years to get it and understand where it’s coming from.

You see comparing ourselves to others or comparing what we have to others is never going to be a good idea, is it? It just can’t help us,o and yet we do it with alarming regularity, most likely we don’t even realise we are doing it.

Just an innocent thought about a neighbour’s car or their garden can start the comparison guilt trip journey, it’s a free ticket to self doubt and self esteem and will be calling at all stations along the way including self worth, low confidence and eventually will terminate at depression.

How many times have you compared yourself to someone else, told yourself I can never be as rich or confident or beautiful as that person.

When you are comparing things you are either in the past or the future and always feeling one step down than everyone you are comparing yourself to.

Well guess what those a beautiful confident people you are comparing yourself to are doing the same thing too. Because once you get on the comparison train it’s mighty hard to disembark.

Most of us before we do anything that maybe challenges us or puts us outside our comfort zone , make unwelcome comparisons with someone else.

I will never be as good as so and so, I will never succeed like he or she does, well guess what ? If you keep comparing the things you want to reasons why you can’t have them then you most probably will succeed in not getting what you want.

Comparing starts off with a thought, you have to be thinking about something to make a comparison. What if you could catch that thought before you acted on it.

How different could your life be if you become aware when your thinking when comparing things.

We stop disbelieving our thinking once we become aware of it. I’ve spents years comparing myself, my house, my car, my laptop, my phone to what others have, it has only caused me to feel inadequate or not good enough.

Today my thinking has changed I realise that for every judgemental thought I have I’m applying a new brick to a new barrier, it’s time you took your barriers down and you can make a start by stopping the comparisons in your life, it really is true comparison is the thief of your joy.

Have a great day

Woody

Thinking up a storm.

Many of us are finding times tough at the moment and are really struggling with their thinking whether they know it or not.

Each of us conjours up around 70,000 thoughts a day, most of which are taking place on a subconscious level that we are not aware of.

Every thought has a reaction somewhere in our body. When we become hungry we think of food, when we become tired we subconsciously have thoughts of sleeping which sets off a chain of events that makes us start to yawn and become sleepy.

Most of these subconscious thoughts are just part of inbuilt programmes that we have to allow us to function as human beings.

When we are in so called normal mode and everything is running how it should be in our lives these thoughts are just helping the mind and body to function.

But, when we add stress into our lives these thoughts multiply many times over. I like to use a weather analogy to describe this.

When everything is right in our world we have blue sky, we have clouds of thought that just come and go just as they should do, most of them don’t hang around too long they just, like the clouds dissolve and pass by untill a new one appears. Just like the clouds in the sky we can’t stop them and we can’t control them, they are just a part of us.

But sometimes all is not right in our world and our thoughts come in faster and faster and build up , just like the clouds that grow before a summer storm.

Sometimes our thoughts are coming so fast that we can’t seem to see where we are going , just like a blizzard in the winter , blinding us and leading us down the wrong path.

And if things get really bad we grow tornadoes of thought that spin around in our minds, never allowing to slow down an out of control mind. These are our very worst of times, the times where we have no idea where we are going and what we are doing, we are out of control and our thinking is manic. It is at these times that we turn to drink or drugs or some other addiction that takes is away from it all.

But tornados blizzards and storms never last for ever, they gradually slow down and they slowly fade away, then out of nowhere the blue sky appears and the sun comes out

Just like our thoughts when the mind settles the thoughts slow down and are soon replaced by new thoughts which create new feelings.

The blue sky is always there, but sometimes we just lose sight of it for a while, that’s all.

Take care, untill next time.

Woody

How you become anxious and how to change.

Today’s world is an anxious one for many people. Anxiety is like a virus on a computer. It’s a program that you accidently download that runs silently in the background of your subconscious mind.

It runs on what ever you feed it through your conscious mind. What ever you watch listen and experience feeds your anxiety.

It feeds only on negativity, every negative thing you follow it loves and devours with a hunger. It hates positivity, it hates kindness and gratitude, that’s what makes it sick.

Anxiety is your next thought , your thoughts come from what you feed yourself. If your on a diet of bad news or your follow negative people you will develop bad thinking.

When you allow a diet of negativity to take over, your thoughts change, they tell you that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, they cloud the sky no matter what the weather, the days become darker earlier and earlier.

But what if your next thought was positive, what if you told yourself I can instead of I can’t. What if you said I will instead of I won’t.

This next thought changes everything, it’s not what happens to you that makes you anxious sad depressed or unworthy it’s how you think about the stuff that happens to you that gives you the experience and the feelings.

Most negative thoughts are connected to the past events or perceived future events that have not even happened yet, how crazy is that, that our current life experiences are based on a past that no longer exists and a made up future which hasn’t existed.

Our real experience happens when you are present, when you are aware of NOW.

The average human spends 55% of their time worrying about things that rarely happen. So many of us exist in a world of past experiences often distorted from reality by our brains ability to recall accurately life’s events, or in a future of negative imagination.

Spend time in the present, focus on now, one simple technique is to just relax and observe your breathing, let your breath flow naturally and follow it, this sets you in the present moment. Thoughts will come and go, that’s what they are supposed to do, negative thoughts will come and go too.

One thing for sure is that thoughts are only passing and if you leave them alone they will dissolve and be replaced by new ones.

Thoughts can never hurt you, they often are not based on any truth , your diet of negativity creates negative thinking.

Change your diet and you will start to see your thoughts change, it doesn’t happen overnight but the time you spend in the present the less time you will be spending in a twisted distortion of your past and your future the less anxiety you will grow.

Remember it all starts with one thought in the moment, make your next thought a good one and start the change you wish to see.

Woody

New year new thoughts.

How many of you have made a new resolution, hands up who has broken it already.

What is a new year resolution? Well the simple answer to that is it’s just a new thought that you have had.

Do you know that we average somewhere around 70,000 thoughts a day, but you are only about aware of around 10% of those as a maximum.

So where are all the other 90% of those thoughts and what are they about? They are the thoughts that take place in the subconscious part of your mind.

Well quite simply you never stop thinking, your busy thinking every single minute of every single day. Evening at night time your busy thinking, you may occasionally be woken up by your thinking commonly known as having a nightmare.

Sometimes you may have awoken from a nightmare as if it had actually happened, cold sweats, goosebumps and a feeling of fright and anxiety all reactions to your nightmare.

Nightmares are just thoughts, these thoughts are happening in the subconscious domain of your mind in other words you are unaware of them, but they manifest themselves as feelings and emotions.

Thoughts can often feel so real to us and our brain often mistakes our thoughts for reality. Ever watch a horror movie , one that gets you really scared , your brain reacts as if you are actually there in the movie.

Where do our thoughts come from?

Well nobody can actually answer that with a concrete answer , some of our thoughts are a part of our body’s natural programmes such as hunger, we get a hungry feeling and we think of food or vica versa.

Personally I believe that our thoughts are driven by what we chose to follow and the experiences we have in our lives. The more we experience or follow negative things the more our future thoughts are painted in negativity, the opposite can also occur in that the more we follow positive experiences the more our thoughts both on a conscious and even more importantly subconscious level become trained to become positive.

So moving on to new year’s resolutions, we could all affect our future thoughts if we try to follow positivity. Don’t get stuck on following people’s social media posts that make you feel depressed, chose to follow those who make you feel good. One thing you could start with is to avoid the arguments about Covid, don’t get drawn in to them, everyone has their opinions right or wrong.

Keep positive

Woody

2021 is a time to write your new story.

Time to write your new story

2020 is no more, most of us would want to just forget it and rather wish it had never happened.

Time to start a fresh story in 2021. Let’s imagine that 2021 is a reset button, a chance to start again.

A chance to write a new story with new chapters in your life’s story, become the author of your life.

To write a new story we need a title, well I’m a big star wars fan so let’s call the book 2021 A New Beginning.

Every page is blank in our new book , and let’s imagine the ink is our thoughts. Your thoughts will edit this story.

Each page is decided on by you, not by what happens to you, but by you from the inside.

Each chapter title is a thought, each page is written through your thoughts, each illustration is an image in your mind created by your thinking.

2021 is the time you rewrite your story. Make sure that every page is sprinkled with gratitude, love and kindness and you have the perfect recipe for a great story.

Happy New Year and happy writing

Woody

Arguing in your head.

Have you ever had an imaginary argument in your head with someone?

The answer is almost certainly yes. And I bet like me it was never planned you just found yourself unaware how it started it just happened.

One minute your fine and the next your having a full on imaginary argument with someone without being aware of how it even began.

It could be with you partner one of your kids a neighbour or just about anyone you chose.

So where did that argument come from?

That argument just popped into your head, but why? Well as with all of your human experiences you must have had a thought to spark it off.

Back in the days when I was unaware of the realisation that my life was being controlled by my thinking I frequently found myself wrapped up in an internal imaginary argument often with my wife, but it could have been a driver if I was in my car, it could have been about a work colleague it could be about literally anything.

I sometimes even found myself talking out loud to myself even shouting if I was in the security of my car.

The outcome of these arguments would leave me feeling physically stressed and revved up almost as if I was looking for a fight.

I know now that my own relationship suffered, because I would frequently have these imaginary arguments with my wife and then arrive home agitated and spoiling for a real argument, which sadly frequently occured.

How many of you realise that when your having these made up imaginary rows that are having a diverse effect on your own physiology. In other words your body is reacting as if it’s real.

Once this happens you are ready for action, your cells are primed to fight your thoughts are primed to fight and there’s only one outcome to having that kind of physical and biochemical reaction going on.

So what’s different for me now?

Over the past 5 years or so I’ve come to the understanding that my thoughts are what is controlling my life. I’ve learned how to recognise my thoughts for what they are, just thoughts nothing else. Thoughts are not real , my arguments are not real and I’ve learned that once I catch myself having one of these imaginary arguments I have the power to step in and change it.

We think on average 70,000 thoughts a day , most we are unaware and happen subconsciously. By practicing mindfulness and meditation I’ve discovered you can calm your mind, you can recognise your thinking and you can chose to follow your thoughts into battle or sit quietly and wait for the inner self often referred to as wisdom to conjour up a new thought.

The arguments have stopped for Mr and as a result I have much better relationships with those people who used to imagine arguing with.

Think on this, the next time you find yourself involved in an imaginary argument, is it real what can I do to change it.

And if you do that the imaginary argument won’t become a real fight.

Take care enjoy the rest of Christmas

Woody

Why our thoughts create our world.

It’s that simple, surely nothing can be that simple. Let’s think a second (pardon the pun) look around you, everything around you that’s been made by humans has been created by thought. The phone I’m using to type this was created with a lot of thought, someone had to think in order to design.

What about nature?

Yes, even our experience of nature is created by our thoughts. We don’t all see through the same eyes we don’t all think with the same brain. Two people will look at a mountain and see two different things through their thinking.

One will see an opportunity to reach the top and be rewarded with a spectacular view , one will see the hardships and the obstacles in the way. Same mountain different thoughts.

It’s raining outside as I type, I love the rain, I love the feel of walking in the rain, my wife hates the rain, it makes her feel cold and miserable, it makes me feel alive and well. Same weather different thoughts.

What about our emotions?

As humans we are blessed with having emotions and feelings. The most important part is we also have choice. Most species on this planet do not have choice it’s just programmed to be. We however can chose our emotions through our thinking.

Angry or calm happy or sad.

The choice is ours, we programme ourselves through what we chose to follow. Why is it that given an identical situation some see opportunity and some see obstacles, some see threat, some see a welcome. The answer is our thinking.

The world we experience is controlled by our thoughts. We can’t feel fear untill we think fearful thoughts. We can’t become angry unless we think angry thoughts.

Change your thoughts change your feelings.

You can chose your thoughts, you can chose to be angry. It’s a mistake that we believe that everything that happens to us is because it’s done to us, it’s not, it’s how we think about situations that controls our experience.

With Christmas just a few days away, we can not control what’s not controllable, if you try your thoughts will lead you down a negative path and a negative experience. Try to notice your thoughts, how are you thinking , take a few deep breaths and your thoughts will slow down, its not too late, to think differently and change your thoughts for a better feeling and a better experience.

Wishing everyone a positive thought filled Christmas

Woody

Tier 4 anxious thoughts.

My thoughts today regarding the new tier is just how many of you have experienced more fears more anxiety and more frustration.

My last post was about how we are experiencing our thinking and this is another classic example.

My Facebook and Twitter feed is full of emotional people venting their emotions, in other words they are expressing their thoughts.

How many people are dreading Christmas, how many are going to have to spend it on their own with just the company of their thinking.

Thinking controls our moods and our feelings, we actually feel our thoughts they effect us even down to the cellular level, our thoughts actually change us for better or worse.

The more we think based on dread anxiety fear or anger the more we become that thought.

Negative thinking over a long period of time becomes dangerous and can have severe effects on our mental and physical health.

Some years back I realised that my own thinking was going down the wrong pathway, I was becoming depressed and could see no way out.

I then made the discovery that I was being totally led by my thoughts, I was living my anxiety and depression through my thoughts.

I found that by becoming aware of what I was thinking about I could then change.

I was having arguments in my head with people real and imaginary. These were just my thoughts talking to me. I would frequently argue with my wife when I got home unaware that the argument had already started in my head.

I would argue with people in traffic , my head screaming what I would do to them, of course I never did anything, but the thoughts were scary.

Once I realised that it was just my thoughts that were sending me down this path and it was actually nothing to do with anything actually being done to me I could then change.

I started to become aware more and more with how I was thinking and slowly I began to change my thinking and it changed me.

Thoughts are not real, they come and go and if you leave them alone and don’t follow them a new thought will emerge.

So if you are on your own this Christmas , take heart in the fact you can change your experience if you are prepared to listen to your thoughts and then change them for better ones.

When you find yourself feeling bad and having bad thoughts try to sit still, quiet your mind, and wait for a new thought to come along. They always do.

“Thought is not reality; yet it is through Thought that our realities are created”.
Sydney Banks

Have a great day

Woody.